Bucket List

So. I did something super crazy last week that I have to share. Let me start this crazy story by telling you that a year or so ago I purchased this bucket list journal and started thinking of things to write in it. One of the things I put at the top of my list was performing in a musical again—I’d performed in several from grade school through high school and still have such great memories of those experiences. Seeing so many of the musicals at Theatre Lawrence in the last few years reminded me of how much I love musical theater, and I started thinking that maybe I could still carry a tune well enough to be part of an ensemble. I’m mean I’m not delusional enough to think that I could ever land a major role, but I am a decent dancer, so I thought maybe my dancing would help my average-y singing so that I could be in those fun big dance numbers that every musical has.

So fast forward to a couple of months ago, when Theatre Lawrence announced that this season they are doing Annie, which has always been one of my favorite shows. When I was 11, I was an orphan in the Marymount College production of Annie in Salina, and that show still holds such a special place in my heart. I even made Chad and Mom see it on Broadway when we were in New York five years ago! Since I currently have no job and a super flexible schedule, this seemed like it might be the right time to try crossing this item off my bucket list. I started contemplating going to the auditions, which were last Monday and Tuesday. I had only mentioned to one friend that I was considering trying out—I didn’t even tell Chad until lunchtime on Monday. I called the theater that afternoon and got more information about the auditions, but I totally chickened out--I thought of every excuse in the book why I couldn’t go (I didn’t have the sheet music, I had a sore throat, we wanted to finish the new season of Man in the High Castle, I was SUPER nervous about singing in front of people and I probably wouldn’t make the cast anyway).

When I woke up on Tuesday I was totally annoyed with my chicken-poop self. I mean, if I was brave enough to do this for multiple musicals as a child, why was I so terrified at 40-freakin’-6? Why was I always so worried about what other people would think of me? Why did I feel like it would be the end of the world if I messed up and made a fool of myself? My fear about auditioning was so absurd I became more determined to try out just for the sake of overcoming my nerves! So Tuesday morning I walked to our piano bench and opened it up and crazily enough, found the entire book of piano accompaniment for The Sound of Music. I have no recollection as to why I own this, but since it was the first musical I was ever in, I know all the songs pretty well. I picked "My Favorite Things," found the accompaniment online (thank you, YouTube), and practiced several times for the dogs. It wasn’t a good sign that Flower ran away every time I started singing, but whatever. I went on with the rest of my day and just kept telling myself that I was not chickening out this time!

When Chad got home I sang my song a couple of times for him, and after dinner my incredibly supportive husband went with me to the theater for moral support. It was so nice to have him there to keep me relaxed and laughing until it was my turn. There were only about 15 adults auditioning that night (I have no idea how many auditioned the first night), but I recognized at least 10 of them from shows I’d seen at Theatre Lawrence or the Lawrence Arts Center. That didn’t help my nerves, nor did it help that the stage manager was a girl who was in my preschool class at Raintree over 20 years ago! Ugh. I am so old. Regardless, when my name was called I walked down to the stage, handed the pianist my music and announced myself and my song. I didn’t pass out, pee my pants or vomit, which all seemed reasonably possible. I sang my song and didn’t forget the words or miss any notes. It wasn’t fantastic by any means, but it was passable. Chad went home while I completed the dancing and script reading portions of the audition. I was seriously so proud of myself for just getting up there and surviving, it was totally a moral victory!

Then on Friday the cast list was posted online. I love this show so much and want to see it done well, so I immediately started Googling the people listed in the principal roles to see if I’d seen them perform before in other shows. I didn't even read the whole cast list first, because I had absolutely no expectations of seeing my name, but when I finally got to the bottom my jaw hit the floor!

You guys, I can’t even tell you how shocked and excited I am. It might be that the director has to choose a certain quota of newbies for every show, but I don’t even care. I’m going to be super busy for the next couple of months, but I’m going to have so much fun reliving my childhood!